Spring is finally here and I have had the worst winter in my life here in Lebanon for sure. I have been depresses freezing my cute ass off all winter. I hated it. Now it’s spring and I feel different. Suddenly I can put up with Lebanese smartasses. With their shitty, retarded system and way of driving. Thank you dear birds, sun and life. A new life has begun.
It’s funny how much that can change in such a short time. When I first arrived I was excited about everything I saw and did and now…I feel depressed. Totally and utterly and I really wish I had never moved here. I just don’t want to adapt as a matter of fact. I don’t want to become one of these desperate people that I see every day. I don’t want to think it’s normal to be one second away from death whilst driving. I don’t want to keep on defending myself..trying to protect my identity, getting constant questions about my life…having everyfuckingone trying to rip me off. Fuck that.
The words are..well get out of here if you don’t like it. Well I am planning to. This place isn’t good for my nerves, mood or personality.
I don’t know why but this time around I find it kinda boring to blog. I can’t find the inspiration. Most days something interesting happens but I just can’t be bothered to write about it. Maybe because it’s hard to put words on how life is here. How the little things makes me happy and excited. Seeing an old woman in her nightgown crossing the road at seven in morning to give the man with the big fruit cart a cup of coffee. How sweet. How lovely. How simple. Another older woman (around 65-70) stepping out from her house in Hamra in a small vest and tight jeans. The years are showing on her face and on her chest she has a necklace fit for Cinderella’s ball. She walks proudly with her head held high and she knows she is beautiful. So beautiful.
Once again I can’t be asked to write more.
Kisses n luv